A journey towards therapy

Samedi 13 mars 2021

Oh, anxiety - embodied in front of me,

When did you make tranquility a luxury?

To you who is staring, in all black glory, 

I have a query: 

Speak to me of the eyes that I see - What made them so hollow?

Do you have any control left for me to borrow?

I haven’t eaten, I’m barely sleeping:

I can’t think straight - Tell me this isn’t my fate.


The thoughts are incessant - What day is it ?

I lost track of all the antidepressants.

You are not okay, won’t you admit it?

Admittedly, you are not weak -

Why is it then that all you do is weep?

Stop sweating. I want to sleep. 


Look at the mirror- take a look and see:

What are you doing to me?

I’m on my knees. Stop smiling.

Set me free.

Please, how can I call off this disease?

I haven’t even brushed my teeth.


Breathe in, you’re aware.

That is your lesson - they said: beware.

My mind is going numb: 

I need a weapon,

Someone shut down its terrors:

Caution them not to come. Step in.


Oh, anxiety - embodied in front of me,

Must you have no mercy of what is still left of me? 

Wherever I go, I’m met with pity.

My insecurities aren’t pretty.


Oh, you who is staring, in all black glory,

I have a query:

Do I smash the mirror?

I want a way out of your reign of terror.

I’m only getting thinner.


Someone draw me a map,

I’m walking around aimlessly.

Caught in a trap – 

Indeed, I am fighting with  myself shamelessly.

I’m sorry Dad,

All you’re doing is worry about me.

Oh, to call off this negativity.


My goals and hopes in captivity,

I have no mission.

These thoughts aren’t even mine. 

I don’t recall a submission.

Who’s controlling my mind?

Let us not even bring up motivation.


Tell the voices in my head: I’m taking over. 

For, as I look at my unmade bed,

I now want to be sober. 

Get this: I’m done being dead

-although, I might need a shoulder.


Oh, anxiety - embodied in front of me,

I’m breaking this mirror : 

I’m done with thee. 

For peace, I seek to let  myself truly be.

Let this be my rebellion as I now see clearer.

For I know, it’s a process but I feel nearer. 

I’m not okay but I will be - 

May that be plain to any hearer:

I found my peace in therapy.